Saturday, April 26, 2008

The tutti fruit, with fruity blue cheese!

This week on American Idol the remaining contestants will be attempting to sing the songs of Neil Diamond. (Original title for this week's theme: Songs best sung by Michael Johns.) Who should sing what? We discussed this burning issue in our home this week, and in the process the kids found out that my husband knows way too many Neil Diamond songs. He has two older sisters and he blames them for his indoctrination into this genre of music at an early age. They're also responsible for him knowing many, many Simon & Garfunkel songs, but somehow that is not as offensive to the children.

My suggestions for the Fearless Five:

1. Syesha Mercado: This one is tough because a lot of ND's songs are either very male or very folksy. Syesha can sing powerful songs, but ND's powerful songs are often written so much from a male perspective that it would be hard to change them by just changing pronouns. I don't think Syesha's strength lies in the folksy area, though. My suggestion would be for her to use the Idol fail-safe strategy of appealing to the patriots. Has anyone ever been voted off the week they sang a patriotic song? So, for Syesha:


•You Don't Bring Me Flowers (ballady back-up option, but will then have to be compared to Barbra Streisand)

2. Brooke White: Brooke can do the folksy songs, and ND has some nice whiny ones that would be perfect for her. Tom suggested "Play Me", and I agree that the melody is perfect for Brooke, but there's the gender problem again with the lyrics. Some folksy, weepy options for Brooke:


•Yesterday's Songs

•Hello Again

3. David Archuleta: David (or his daddy) will pick something so very David-ish, so let's not bother finding him something truly appropriate. Whatever it is, it will be forgettable, he will hem and haw about it, and he will win Idol and enjoy two albums worth of fame and fortune. Perfect songs for David:

•Heartlight (from that classic old movie "ET")

•Beautiful Noise (sung in an "Up With People" style)

4. Jason Castro: Poor cute clueless Jason, what can we pick for you...I suspect you're going to pick Heartlight for yourself and it'll be a disaster. There are actually quite a few good choices this week, but Jason's going to have to stretch himself a wee bit to wow us with any of them. Jason could try:

•And The Grass Won't Pay No Mind (this is "grass" as in LAWNS, Jason, but other than that the lyrics are fairly self-explanatory)

•Canta Libre (very pretty tune, en Espanol y con ukulele!!)

•Crunchy Granola Suite (okay, this is a stretch because it requires a lot more energy than Jason usually displays...but it would be funny)

•Forever In Blue Jeans (if Jason could be peppy enough, this could be really rather good)

•I'm A Believer (yes, Rebecca, Neil Diamond wrote this! Jason could do this one up good if he'd try...and that seems to be the operative phrase with Jason. He needs to exert himself.)

•Song Sung Blue (again with the ukulele or guitar)

5. David Cook: Obviously, I saved the best for last. I think David should have an easy hit with Neil Diamond week. He has enough power and range to his voice to pull off many of ND's songs, plus he seems to be smart enough to understand the emotions that need to be conveyed along with the songs. Songs for David:

•And The Grass Won't Pay No Mind (yeah, I just gave this to Jason, but David would have a completely different take on it)

•Holly Holy (not the Reggae version...PLEASE!)

•Solitary Man (there's a video on Youtube of ND singing this in concert in 1971...his style back then reminded me of David C. Of course, David could also emo this one up a bunch and that would work, too. Some terribly demonic looking bunch has done a cover of this recently, but he wouldn't have to do their version. )

•Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show (because there are people in this house who want someone to sing this, and David's the only one who could possibly pull it off. It would have been perfect for Michael Johns.)

Tune in Tuesday night to see the contestants pick entirely different songs and prove me wrong!


Rebecca said...

I miss Michael Johns! And Jason has been getting more and more boring...

Jim said...

Alright, that does it! I'm sending emergency testosterone supplements! :)

Please, oh please, don't start a Rod Stewart discussion before they arrive!