Saturday, August 2, 2008

Why do the (furry) heathen rage? Feline Theology 101

We had a thunderstorm come up suddenly here this afternoon and it made me think...

Is it at all possible that animals go to Heaven? I mean animals we know here in this life...pets, for instance. This is a rhetorical question, of course, although there are a bunch of websites out there with "answers". Just Google "Do pets go to Heaven?" and see how much precious time you can spend reading theories about why or why not God would allow pets into Heaven.

••Disclaimer: This post is not reflective of accurate Biblical theology and doctrine, and is meant for entertainment purposes only. :)

We've had three cats since the grand day when Natalie convinced Tom that she needed a kitty cat. Two of them, Petunia and Gracie, we still have; Basil died three years ago. They each have/had their own doctrinal beliefs, as evidenced by their attitudes and behaviors.

Basil--Calvinist. Basil knew he couldn't do anything to make himself good in God's eyes or in the eyes of anyone else. He knew he was a sinful cat, he knew he didn't deserve to have a good home and good food and a loving family. He was truly grateful for the life God had given him and for the people who cared for him. When he misbehaved he repented.

Petunia--Arminian. Petunia is the classic Arminian, she is working hard for her salvation and she will let you know it. She works constantly to position herself as The Good Girl. When she and Basil would wrestle she would get behind something where he couldn't reach her and then scream and cry about how he was killing her. We used to yell at Basil until we noticed one day that between cries she was very handily wholloping him while he sat there looking guilty.

Gracie--Heathen. Gracie is just, unfortunately, a flat-out heathen. She doesn't care whether she sins, she doesn't care if there is a God, she lives for Gracie and Gracie alone. Oh, and she sorta likes humans if they are willing to cater to her every desire. Actually, Gracie may think of herself as a deity. When things don't go her way she doesn't just complain, she rages.

Which brings me to the storm this afternoon. Gracie was outside when the clouds started rolling in. Natalie went out and called her, but she refused to come inside. Instead she sat on the patio with her ears twitching as the thunder boomed and the lightening flashed. We called her several times, knowing the rain was coming at any moment, but she stiffened her back and refused to come in. The sky was dark, the lightning was wild, the thunder was loud...and she sat on that patio, looked to the sky, and...raised her paw and flicked it at the sky.

When the heavens opened and the rain poured down she suddenly ran for the door and flung herself at it. We let her in, but she showed no signs of repentance...nothing but utter rage that she should have had to be subjected to such an insult.

She probably wouldn't wear a flag pin, either.

1 comment:

Natalie said...

Little heathen!! We should take her to church tomorrow....or not.